Wishing You Were Somehow Here
by Yet-Another-Weasley
Summary: Grissom has dinner with Sophia, but finally realizes how he truly feels. Sara is beginning to rethink her feelings for Grissom. Will end up as GregSara.
1. Wishing You Were Somehow Here

Disclaimer: I did not, do not, and will not ever own CSI.

Title: Wishing You Were Somehow Here

Description: Grissom has dinner with Sophia, but finally realizes how he truly feels. Sara is beginning to rethink her feelings for Grissom. Greg/Sara relationship and then friendship. Possibly Grissom/Sara in the end.

-

**Wishing you were somehow here…**

She stood there around the corner, listening to them talk. It made her remember how things were almost like between them. She heard those words before, "I stand corrected." The way she knew he felt about her and the way she felt about him. She remembered it now, that that's all it was; a memory. No, that was not her in there smiling at him, accepting his dinner invitation. That was Sophia.

They walked out of there together, happy, smiling, faces lit up with love. It made her feel sick, almost like the time she heard Grissom tell Dr. Lurie that he was given a chance to have her in his life, but he could never take that chance. No, of course he couldn't take the chance; he was the silent, unemotional bug-man. The closest he got to telling her how he felt was that time at the ice hockey rink and now that, too, was just a memory. Now, though, as she watched from around the corner she saw a new man; a new, different Grissom.

After Grissom and Sophia rounded the corner, she grabbed her shoulder bag and left, she needed to go home and get her mind off of everything that had been going on lately. It wasn't a long ride to her apartment and not a very eventful one, either. Not long after she had left the crime lab was she fishing for her keys in her bag and finally opening up the door.

Her apartment was the one place in the world that she felt okay. It was her apartment and that meant she could be alone and not have to deal with the people in the world that she was so afraid of. Even though she loved her job as a criminalist, she loathed having to be in contact with so many people every day. It was because of people that she had felt so out of place as a child. It was because of people that she came to Las Vegas and they led her on, only to push her aside when someone knew came along. But perhaps that's what people do; they only have an interest in the people around them because they are amused by it. When something new comes along, it's out with the old and in with the new.

She left her bag on the kitchen countertop and pulled out an Arizona iced tea bottle from the fridge. Grabbing a wash cloth from the towel closet, she soaked it in cold water and wrung it out so that it was still cold, but not soaking wet. She went to her bed and pressed the cold rag to her forehead, hoping to make her headache go away, if it was a headache at all. Perhaps it was just the memories that were making her mind go into overdrive.

Not twenty hours later did someone come to her door and knock, not too loudly, just loudly enough to wake her up. Discarding the damp washcloth in the bathroom sink, she made her way through her small living room and to her apartment door. Looking through the keyhole, she was a bit surprised by who was standing outside her door; Greg.

Opening the door, she said, "Hey Greg. What's up? You want to come in?"

"Yeah," he said, stepping inside as Sara closed the door behind him, "I was just wondering how you were doing. I haven't had a chance to talk to you since that whole deal with Ecklie. I guess I just wanted to make sure you were okay."

She sighed, "Thanks. I have to admit, I've been going through a lot lately, but I'm getting over it. I had a headache a little while ago and slept for a little while before you came."

"Did I wake you up? If I did, I'm really sorry."

"No, no. It's alright. Uh, you want anything to drink or something?"

"Sure." He followed her into the small kitchen where she grabbed a Pepsi out of the fridge and handed to him.

"You want to go sit down and talk or do you have to go?"

He laughed, "I never have anything to do, any night of the week. So, sure, I'll stay and chat."

"Good, because if you had just came over to wake me up for five minutes and then leave…" she smiled.

"So," he sat down next to be on the opposite end of the couch, "Tell me if I shouldn't be asking, but did you and Cath make up?"

"Actually, I didn't get a chance to talk to her since I got back from Ecklie's suspension. I don't know whether I should go talk to her yet. I was just in a really bad mood that day and I blew up at her. Above all that's going on I don't want whatever friendship I had between me and Cath to be screwed up, too."

"Yeah, I know what you mean. How long have you known each other? I'm sure she'll forgive you."

"I hope so." She sighed, "So, looks like you and Grissom have been getting along quite well with Sophia."

"She's a good CSI, yeah, but she doesn't want to be here. She wants to be back with the day shift and everyone she knows there. She told me that she doesn't feel comfortable with the night shift."

"She seemed to feel comfortable when Grissom asked her to dinner."

Greg looked stunned, "W-what? Grissom asked _her_ to dinner?"

Sara nodded.

"Aw man, that sucks. You gunna be okay?"

"I'll manage. It's been what five years that I've been waiting for him to say something after I told him how I felt, but I guess I was wrong about him."

They continued to talk and eventually both of them grew tired and since they were both nearly falling asleep right there on Sara's couch, Greg decided to leave.

"I think I'd better go. I don't want to be falling asleep on my way home." He smiled, "See you tomorrow."

He saw her standing there with a lost and tired look so he hugged her. It was awkward, but she needed cheering up.

-

Yeah, so after seeing Unbearable, this is what I came up with. I'm not particularly a Greg/Sara shipper, but I like to try new things so I thought I'd put Greggo in here. I don't know if this is going to stay Greg/Sara or switch to Grissom/Sara. I guess if you read this, you'll find out when I do. lol. Please review D


	2. Realizations

Disclaimer: I do not own CSI and make absolutely no profit from this.

-

**Realizations…**

"Let's have dinner, shall we?" He asked her.

"Love to," she responded warmly and then followed him out the door.

Not much later they were sitting down at a table across from one another, talking of forensics, insects, opera, and classical music. Grissom was mesmerized by her. Her voice was so confident and so beautiful. Her knowledge was comparable to his own. She was perfect for him.

After a while, Grissom got to the point of her wanting to leave. "You're a great CSI and member of my shift. You're knowledge is amazing and can only help our team, not hinder it."

"I have no respect from your team. Don't you get it? I belong with the people I know and trust, not those who don't even care to greet me when I come in a room."

"We need you. Sara is just stubborn. Greg likes you, though. Give it time; you'll find your place."

"Well, if by 'we' you mean you, then perhaps I will stay for the time being."

"Good."

Their meals came out and they ate and chatted more.

"So, about your team. I heard about Sara."

"She's okay. She's strong; she'll get through it."

But did he really believe what he was saying? This whole night was just a reminder of Sara. All these things that he was saying to Sophia he had once said to Sara. He remembered when Sara wanted to leave Vegas because of him. He felt so foolish, but he could never have a relationship with her. Sara was independent, stubborn, emotional, and intelligent. Those things scared him. He wouldn't know what to expect or how she would react. Sophia, however was everything that he was. They seemed so perfect, like how he could predict some of the things that she was going to say. But did he really love her? He was so baffled. For the rest of the night, he kept questioning himself. Was he in love with Sophia or did he still feel all those things for Sara, but was too afraid to ask her to dinner and so afraid of people that he was not able to understand her?

When the meal ended and it was time for them to leave, he drove Sophia to her house and walked her to the door. He kissed her goodnight after saying what a lovely time he had, but he did it with barely an emotion. The whole time he wondered whether he was kissing the right woman or if he was making the biggest mistake of all by having dinner with Sophia. She wondered if what he was doing now was something he'd soon regret.

-

**Taking over me…**

"_You don't remember me, but I remember you… I lie awake and try so hard not to think of you…"_

Her stereo played softly in the background, the voice of the female singer had a calming effect on her and as the words she could so vividly relate to played in her mind, she found herself finally drift off to sleep.

Later in the afternoon, she woke up to her alarm clock. Shutting it off, she slipped out of bed and into the frigid room. Shivering, she walked over to the thermostat and checked the temperature. The hand was set on sixty-eight degrees, but it felt more like fifty-five. Settling for a hot shower, she would have to talk to the landlord before she left for work.

Not much later, she grabbed her bag and keys and walked by her desk to turn off the radio and noticed her answering machine light was flashing; a new message.

_That's odd_, she thought. _I never get messages._

She pressed play and the recording started, "Hey Sara. Its Greg. Hope you're feeling better. See you at the lab."

She stood there for a moment, shocked by what she'd just listened to. As if in denial, she exited quickly, nearly forgetting to lock her door and then headed over to the lab for the start of shift. Though, when she came into the lab parking lot, she sat in her car for a moment, thinking of everything that had happened over the past month. She wondered how she was going to face Grissom, as well as Greg.

Walking past his office, she saw Grissom there. She wondered if he knew that she knew; not likely. Though Grissom seemed intelligent, he was especially dull minded when it came to people, of the opposite sex or not. Ever since he asked her to come to Las Vegas, he had acted quite differently around her than when she met him in California. Though perhaps it was simply a façade or some trickery. She tried to leave so many times, but she always got that same remark. "Sara, the lab needs you. Please think about what you're doing." And every time, she thought that somewhere inside he might actually love her, but every time she found herself proven wrong. Sometimes she wondered why she even bothered.

She found Greg in the break room and sat down on one of the chairs next to him.

"Good evening, Greg," she said and he said his hello as well. "How are you doing?"

"Tired, but I'll be back to normal after a few coffees. How about you? You feeling any better than last night?"

Apparently this was the wrong time to say something like that. Grissom was just walking in and over heard their start of a conversation.

"Hello Greg, Sara. What happened last night?" He asked.

"Nothing," Sara lied, but she was okay at it and Grissom didn't notice.

"Well, in that case, here are your assignments." He handed Sara a folder with information in it. "You two will be working together. Sophia and I are finishing up a case and if you need more hands, give me a call."

With that said, he went to go join Sophia and finish up another case. Greg and Sara were left alone again.

"I guess so. Thanks again for stopping by last night. I needed somebody to talk to."

"No problem. I guess we should go get started on this then."

-

I have the next two chapters already written out, but I don't know if I'm going to update everyday or every other day... Just because I don't want to post all that I have and then you'd have to wait while I write the next chapter (s).

Yeah, thanks for reviews. D I'm not sure which way this is going, but then again I might. I need to think it through and see what happens. I guess I just get ideas at the story progresses, but I am thinking about making this a Greg/Sara fic, as I haven't seen many Greg/Sara stories out there, but I'm not altogether positive. Well, I guess I'll update this and then go chill out and watch TV. This weekend has had me working hard. I had a big lab write-up that I just printed out and I have an essay to revise and hand back in for some contest thing. Hope you enjoy this chapter, as well as the rest of the story. )


	3. Confused

Disclaimer: I do not own CSI and make no profit from this.

**Hello…**

Shift was over and she wanted to go tell Grissom what she had seen. She wanted to let him know what he'd done to her and then ask her why she'd had that DUI so many months ago. But, like so many other times before, she kept quiet. Just like that case a year back, he didn't know she saw anything and he wouldn't find out.

Instead of dropping by his office, she went to the locker room, picked up her stuff, and left. She didn't know where she was going. Maybe she would go home, but she was so tired of being there. But she didn't know anybody in Vegas, save for the people she worked with and right now, she didn't want to be with any of them. Grissom was someone who she would rather never see anymore, Nick and Warrick were at home sleeping most likely, and Catherine and her were not on the best of terms ever since the other week. The only person left was Greg, but she didn't feel like pestering him further with her problems. So, instead of going home, she stopped by a small coffee shop and sat in a booth by herself, drinking a cup of hot tea and snacking on a toasted bagel.

**Wishing I knew what to do…**

After the night before, he was so happy that Sophia wasn't leaving, but he wasn't so sure that he should be. Sure, having Sophia around was great. She was an intelligent woman who would only make their team better; well, for the most part. Sara wasn't too happy about this addition and lately she seemed so sad and alone. He wished he'd known what to do about her. Maybe then he wouldn't feel so horrible for bringing her to Las Vegas and then doing everything in his power to keep himself from having her.

He sat there in his office for a while and he watched Sara walk by and figured that she had left. He felt so stupid for feeling the way he did. Inside, he knew he did this to himself. He couldn't help but think of how happy he might have been if he told Sara how he really felt years ago and how happy she would be as well. For now that would be a dream, at least half of it. If he found that he felt something to Sophia, then he would be happy. Now he was being selfish. For he knew, also deep down, that he could never be truly happy knowing he did what he had done to Sara, but there wasn't anything he could do about it now.

He got up to leave and ran into Greg, who seemed to have had his hands full with work that night.

"Shift's over, Greg," he said.

"I know. I was just finishing up with those prints on AFIS. I'm leaving now." He yawned, "If I stayed any longer, I'd probably end up sleeping here until next shift."

"You're doing well, Greg. I'm proud of you," Grissom said encouragingly.

"Thanks," Greg replied, "Sara leave?"

Curious, Grissom said, "Yes. Why?"

Greg shook his head, "No reason, really. She just never said she was. She was probably tired."

"Yeah, well, I'll see you tomorrow."

"Goodnight, or uh… good morning."

Grissom left, still contemplating everything and now wondering when Greg and Sara became good friends. Shrugging it off, he got in his car and drove home to his apartment.

**Whisper…**

She got home eventually and after much deliberation and threw her things on the couch and finally lay down on her bed and closed her eyes. She thought of how much better her life might be if she had stayed back in California. Even after her rough childhood, she would have been happier with the people she knew there. She wouldn't have gone through all the things she had gone though feeling the way she did about Grissom. She wouldn't have had to come here and barely be welcomed by who are now her colleagues. She wouldn't be a part of the best lab in the country, but hell, what would it matter if she didn't have to put up with Ecklie and if she didn't have to see half the things she saw here. She wouldn't come home and be alone and sleep for hours and then just get up and go to work. Back there, where she had lived for more than five years, she had a least a few friends that she could spend time with. They would keep her mind off of things that she didn't feel like dealing with on her own. Now though, when she had a problem she would come home to her empty apartment and dwell on it all day and have to go back to the lab where her problem was.

Later, she woke up a few hours before shift was going to start and took a short, hot shower. For a while, the heat cleared her head and she felt like new. It was refreshing. She cleansed her hair with her 'sun ripened raspberry' shampoo and it made her bathroom smell good. Getting out into her now steamy bathroom, she breathed in the berry aroma and it made her feel better. Sometimes it just took something as simple as her favorite smell to calm her down and take her mind off of what was going on around her. Now in a better mood than before, she dressed in a pair of blue jeans and a rust colored top and got a bottle of water out of her fridge and grabbed her Pop-tart from the toaster. She was finally on her way out the door and headed over to the lab.

Walking in the door, she saw Greg pull up and she waited for him. 

"Good evening," she said.

"You seem to be happier and you smell good too."

"Okay, Greggo, you could have just stopped at 'You seem to be happier.'" She laughed. "And yeah, I am feeling a little better today."

"I'm going to go grab a coffee, you want a cup?" He asked politely.

"No, thanks. I need to go talk to someone."

She'd been a bit afraid to confront her before, but she figured now would be a good time, since she was in a better mood. She walked down the halls and found Catherine sitting in her office.

Knocking on the door, she stood there; she waited for Catherine's response.

"You can come in," Catherine said, though she didn't seem very glad to see Sara, but she didn't look really angry either.

"Hey. Look, I wanted to talk to you earlier, but I wasn't sure if I should. I didn't want to screw up any friendship we had by coming here when I was still angry and when you might have been angry, too. I just came to say I'm sorry for blowing up at you the other week. It was very unprofessional of me and I deserved the reprimand I received."

"I accept your apology and I should say sorry for being a little hard on you, though I agree with what I said. I guess everyone around here hasn't been acting quite like themselves; ever since the team split." She looked at her watch. "Oh shoot, I told Warrick I'd meet him at the crime scene about five minutes ago. I'd better go."

Sara stood up. "See you, Catherine."

"Yeah, see you later."

Yeah, I've figured out what this is going to turn out to a Greg/Sara fic, but maybe not right off he bat. You'll see what I mean. Thanks for all the reviews I am getting and thanks for reading this story D.

Hehe stlouiegal Haha I can't miss this episode then. Seems like its going to be interesting lol.

Well, if I don't post the next chapter soon its probably because im still working on the ending and haven't had a chance to sit down and write a lot. This week I've been bombarded with homework, but since the weekends almost here I should get another one or two chapters write and posted. D


	4. No title?

Disclaimer: I do not own CSI and make no profit from this.

**Someone who was always there…**

She went back down the hall and remembered that Greg was in the break room.

"Hey," she said, walking in and grabbing a cup and filling it with the steaming black liquid.

"Where were you?" He asked.

"Apologizing to Catherine. At least that's fixed now. I felt so horrible for saying that to her, but the other day when it happened… everything was so screwed up. Ecklie is such an..." She was about to say something, but figuring she'd probably end up regretting it, she kept her mouth shut. "See, there I go again; running my mouth when I probably shouldn't."

He smiled, "Well, if it makes you feel any better, I agree with that last comment. Uhh… I guess we should go get started. Grissom and Sophia are with Doc Robbins doing the autopsy for our case and we have stuff to go over in the layout room. After that, Brass got us a warrant for the Vic's car and is having it brought over to the garage."

She picked up her coffee and walked beside him down the hall, "How long have you been here?"

"About an hour before you. I was looking over stuff in the layout room and talking to Grissom, but I saw you pull up in and parking lot and decided to take a break."

"You've definitely changed a lot since become part of the team."

"Thanks, wait, that's a good thing, right?" He questioned.

"Yeah. It's nice, working with you and all."

It was the first time she could really say that about anyone here in Vegas. Sure, it had been fun to work with Nick and even Warrick and Cath. A few years back, it was an interesting experience to be out in the field with Grissom, as well, but there was something she felt when working with Greg. She had someone to talk to and who she could teach. She didn't have to be so serious around Greg and when it was needed, he would cheer her up. It was nice, for once, not having someone breathing down your neck while you worked.

He smiled and then they walked in the layout room and Greg showed her the pictures they took from the crime scene.

"Okay, so I did a background check on the doctor, Doctor Greys, and it turns out that he's got a clean record, save for two speeding tickets, but that doesn't mean he killed anyone. However, he is close friends with our Vic's family and apparently is in the Vic's Will. Now our Vic's an older guy. He had a heart attack eight days before his time of death and his Will was recently changed. I tried to find out exactly what he changed on it, but I don't have that information yet. So, there's a perfectly good MO for Doctor Greys, right there. Also," he got out some other papers and gave them to Sara. "I ran the prints we found on the discarded needle and I found it strange that our Vic's brother's prints were on there, as well as the nurse's. Now, the nurse's I could understand, but the brother's? And I have Hodges checking the inside of the needle to see if there was anything lethal and we should find out soon how this guy died when the autopsy report gets back from Doc Robbins."

"Wow, okay. Is Hodges going to page you when he gets the results or should I go see if he's got them now?"

"Well, I gave it to him to do a while ago. If you want, you can go pester him about it; I'm not going to. He'll maul me if I get on his nerves."

"Yeah; I'll take my chances."

She made her way to find Hodges who was sitting there, like Greg used to, working on various things for various cases.

"Hey, do you have the stuff Greg sent you?" She asked, leaning over piles of papers to see what he was doing.

He sighed and then pulled something out from under a few other papers, "I think this is it."

She took the paper from him and looked at it, "Alright, thanks."

They'd been working on this case for a while now and they were finally getting somewhere. They might be able to wrap this up soon. She read the report. Apparently, the needle hadn't held anything. If when she got the autopsy report back from Doc Robbins it said that there was an air bubble in one of the major veins that would probably be the cause of death. It wouldn't be long before they cracked this case and then she could get that off her mind and try to figure out her own life instead of somebody else's death.

"Hey Greg," She walked back into the layout room and showed him the results.

"Death by something we can't live without; how ironic. Well, I guess it's safe to assume until we get the results back from Doc Robbins."

"Yeah."

"So, you feeling better?" he asked.

"I don't know. I need to forget about everything; well everything, which means Grissom."

"Look, after shift…uhh… would you like to go get something to eat or take a walk or something?"

A year ago she would have asked Greg if he was serious, but now she found her self saying, "Sure, sounds great; anything to take my mind off of everything that's been going on lately and I don't just mean Grissom."

"Yeah."

Finally, Grissom and Sophia came back with Doc Robbin's report and they found that the air filled needle had, in fact, been the murder weapon. Later, Greg went to get his stuff from the locker room and Sophia had already gone a few minutes earlier.

"I'll meet you outside, Sar," Greg said as he passed by the room on his way out.

Now Sara was left in the room alone with Grissom. "How have you been? We really haven't had a chance to talk since the other day."

"Oh, I'm fine," she said and then threw some papers back into the beige folder she was holding and putting it back on the table, "I have to go."

"Sara, wait. I'm worried about you. Please don't be upset. If you heard anything about the other night, I'm sorry. Please, let me explain." Inside, he wanted to tell her how he felt, but once again he found himself in utter silence, wasting time and throwing away anything he could have had with her.

"I'm pretty sure you're too late."

She turned around and left. It was another one of those times that she found herself wondering what the hell was wrong with that man. Now, she grabbed her bag out of the locker and found Greg outside.

He was surprised at first, but had some idea as to why she was upset, "Grissom?"

"Yeah," she replied.

"Come on. Let's go somewhere other than the lab parking lot." He led her to his car and she got in the passenger side; he got in the driver's side. "I know a small coffee shop where we'll have some privacy." He said and after a ten minute drive they pulled into a tiny parking lot and got out.

They walked inside and found a small table off to the side to sit at. All they ordered for how was a coffee and a hot tea. Greg thought they should talk first.

"You wanna tell me what's been going on?" he asked.

"You know everything else, so why not?" replied Sara, and she started from the beginning. "I guess I started going downhill back a year ago. I never told anyone, but that one case where the victim looked like me…I heard what Grissom said to the suspect. He said to the man that he, too was given a chance to have a new life with someone younger and beautiful, but unlike the suspect, he couldn't take that chance. He couldn't take the chance to be with _me_. I never told him that I saw him say that and so he's still oblivious to the things I know."

"I'm sure Grissom had his reasons for not being able to be with you. He's concerned about his work and wouldn't want a relationship to ruin his career at the lab and _yours_. He loved you, everyone could tell. Sometimes though, a guy's heart says one thing and his mind says something else. Grissom's mind just has more control over him than his heart does. Never give up on something or someone you care about." Greg tried to explain and then added in a lower voice, "I never did…"

"How can I not give up on him when he's given up on his feelings for me and moved on?" she asked, referring to the conversation she overheard between Grissom and Sophia.

She looked frustrated and Greg replied, "Grissom's different than most guys. Most guys tell the girl how they feel. One of these days, Grissom will realize that he's making a mistake by throwing you away, he'll come around."

Yeah, I guess I'll end it like that…keep everyone in suspense. Thanks for reviews. I'll update soon! D


	5. So what am I supposed to do?

Disclaimer: I do not own CSI and make no profit from this.

He didn't know what he was going to do now. He'd tried to make himself explain to her, but it was too late for her to let him. He'd wanted to tell her how he felt years ago when she came to Vegas; that was why he'd contacted her. It was just that then, it was too early and now it is too late. He paced the room at least thirty times, trying to think of what he could do and then Catherine walked by and noticed he looked stressed.

"Gil? Want to tell me what's wrong?" she asked.

"No, not really, though I have no doubt that you don't know what's going on in my mind." He replied and continued pacing.

"Let me guess, this has something to do with either Sara or Sophia… or both?"

"The latter."

"This had something to do with that dinner you had with Sophia."

"Yes."

"Sara found out, didn't she?"

"Women are much smarter than men give them credit for. How is it that you know what's wrong even though you didn't witness anything?"

"Actually, I was just around the corner, heading back to my office from Trace."

"So, what am I supposed to do?"

"Well, you should have gone after her, but its too late for that…"

He cut her off, "It's been too late for the past three years."

"If you told her how you really felt it wouldn't be too late. She's just angry that for three years you made her think that you felt something for her and then you ask Sophia out to dinner. I've got to go; I've got to look some stuff over for the case. Good luck."

Sara got home and thought about what Greg said. Maybe he was right and Grissom would come around and tell her that she was beautiful again. That night three years ago Sara knew he felt something for her, she hoped her still felt that way now and she wasn't just dreaming.

She fell onto her bed and tried to think of what she was going to do. Once again, she'd have to confront Grissom and make him find out what to do about "this." He had led her on for so long, only to turn her down. Sara knew that Grissom wasn't one of those men; well, that was what she wanted to believe.

She went back to the break room to see if Greg was in yet so they could get working on the case again. Instead of finding Greg, she found Grissom.

"Good evening, Sara." He said simply, not sure whether he should continue about their conversation from the night before.

"Yeah, is Greg in yet? I wanted to get started, but I needed to get some from him on that doctor."

Aparently, she didn't want to talk about last night… or so he assumed and replied, "Did you check Trace? I think he just headed back down there to get something from Hodges."

"Yeah, look. Can we talk…later?"

"Sure, end of shift, my office?"

"Hey," Greg said as he saw Sara walking down the hallway. "Ready to get back to work on this?"

"Since when have I not been ready to get to work and put a case to rest?" she rolled her eyes, "Do you have the information on the doctor? I need to look at it again."

"Yeah, right here." He pulled out a folder from the stack of papers in his arms.

"Thanks." They left Trace after Greg got his information from Hodges and started down the hallway, "You think Grissom will come around?"

"He's intelligent, though he lacks common sense, but yeah… he'll learn, eventually."

"I wish he'd asked me to dinner… instead of her. I wish he'd said yes three years ago when I asked him."

"Come on," he said, changing the subject, "Uh, let's see if we can wrap this up."

She turned around to glance towards Grissom's office before she walked to the layout room with Greg.

… Thanks for reviews. Next chapter should be up soon. Yeah, Grissom and Sara talk and try to figure out what to do. Mind you this will still be Greg/Sara in the end D and a Grissom/Sara friendship.

D


	6. I love you, too but I don't know

Disclaimer: I do not own CSI and make no profit from this.

Later, as shift ended, Sara headed towards Grissom's office to see if he was around; and he was. There he sat, reading something on his computer screen and every now and then glancing down at different papers. Eventually, Sara walked through the doorway and sat down in one of the chairs in front of his desk.

Grissom spoke first, "I'm sorry."

"You do know how much that hurt, right? Do you remember when you brought me here because Holly Gribbs had been shot and you needed a hand? Do you remember that day when you smiled at me, but it took a while to get used to everyone on the team…and then you said I was beautiful? And then you turned down my dinner invitation and then what you said to that Dr. Lurie?"

"It's just…I've never been in a lasting relationship before. I never wanted to go through a relationship and then if it ends lose you and lose myself…I wanted to be with you, but I knew I couldn't. I'm sorry."

"You couldn't tell me that before? You had to let me find out for myself and you had to let me find out for myself that you asked Sophia out to dinner, too?"

"Absolutely nothing was meant by that whole ordeal. It was simply to persuade her to stay, nothing romantic at all. And I never meant for you to find out about that case or about anything. This whole time I've been trying to keep you from getting hurt. I guess I failed."

She was starting to get less angry somehow, "All I wanted to know was that you loved me and that maybe we could have something…"

"I do and we can't," he replied.

"Why not? Why can't we make this work?"

"Because _I_ can't make this work. I'm not myself when I'm with you or when I think about you. It would mess things up around the lab and I don't want people" He particularly stressed "people" "to think lowly of you because of me. I don't want to hurt you."

"Please? For more than five years I've waited. Even though I dated Hank and everything… I've still loved you…though you would never let me."

"I can't. Not now… I love you, too…but I just don't know."

She tried to smile as she got up and walked out of there. She didn't want to be angry at him…she had been angry at him enough. She grabbed her stuff and walked out of there, not really sure where she was headed or what she was going to do.

_Not home. _She thought. _Anywhere but home. Not to a bar or a casino, you don't nee that, Sidle, you're better than that. _

In the end and after much deliberation, she ended up back in her apartment, sitting in the chair with her knees against her chest and her arms around them. When something bothered her as a kid she would find a quiet place to sit and think…it seemed to work. And that's what she did. She just tried to think of what she was going to do now. She played some music softly on her stereo, just something to have there in the background…something that went with the mood she was in.

_**Even though I'm the sacrifice**_

_**You won't try for me, not now**_

_**Though I'd die to know you loved me**_

_**I'm all alone**_

_**Isn't someone missing me?**_

The lyrics played in the back of her mind, flowing in with her own thoughts and feelings.

_So, he loved me once. I loved him since before I even came here and so did he. Why did he bring me here just to turn me down? Why did he want me so bad just to give me up? Why did he give up on loving me? Why don't his answers make sense to me? _So many why's and no answers that was making any sense to her.

_**And if I breathe, I'll breathe**_

_**Knowing you don't care**_

_**And if I sleep just to dream of you**_

_**I'll wake without you there**_

_How could she still love him, knowing he didn't care or that he couldn't care? How could she continue loving him if she knew she'd get no love in return? How could she love someone who was incapable of loving her back? Could she just give up and love someone else? Was it going to be that easy?_

She thought of everything that was going on, not just Grissom. She could see how happy everyone else was…how Warrick and Catherine were so happy…how Sophia was friends with Greg and how Greg liked Sophia. It seemed that everyone was happy except her and that she was all alone.

_**Isn't someone missing me?**_

All she wanted was someone to care… she needed a reason to be here. She wanted to believe she still had a reason to stay in Las Vegas. She thought a lot about leave over the past five years and Grissom always coaxed her to stay. He was her one last reason to stay, but he told her that what they both wanted was impossible. She needed someone to be a reason for her to stay.

Yeah… I'll end it here for now.. The lyrics are from the song "Missing" by Evanescence. It's a really pretty song and if you've never heard it, you should check it out. D Thanks for reviews and I'll update soon.


	7. I Don't Hate You

Disclaimer: I do not own CSI and make no profit from this.

She stretched and her eyes fluttered open. Staring at her alarm clock for a minute, she waited for her eyes to adjust to the light before she read the time; half past three. Yawning, she propped herself up on her pillow that she now had leaning against the backboard. She grabbed the remote and turned the TV on, not that she wanted to watch anything…she just needed something for background noise. After a few minutes of waking up, she slipped out of bed and turned on her shower.

The hot water pouring from the showerhead caused the small bathroom to steam up and it became like a sauna. Sara sprayed some sun-ripened raspberry spray around the room, giving it a soothing smell. She stepped into the shower, cleansing herself of everything that was on her mind. Sometimes this was the only thing that worked. She would freshen up and then things would seem better. Hopefully it would work this time and when she went back to work she would be able to concentrate.

Luckily, it did the trick and Sara drove to the lab in a more optimistic state. She walked into the locker room and was a little surprised to find Catherine in there, pulling out of her shift a little early.

"Hey Cath," Sara greeted her. "Where're you headed?"

"Just finished up a case a little while ago so Ecklie, amazingly, let me off a bit early so I could catch Lindsey's school play; she's one of the seven dwarves." She smiled.

"Sounds nice, how's she doing lately?"

"Pretty good, she's more mature lately, which is great." She paused and Sara nodded. "I talked to Grissom the other day."

"So did I."

"And?"

"I guess whatever you said didn't work."

"I've been telling him to get his head out of the microscope for years…apparently his head is stuck in the microscope."

"Yeah…well, I guess I'd better let you go. Tell Linds good luck with the play; I'm sure she'll do a great job."

"Thanks… and don't let Grissom bug you…no pun intended. He's, well, difficult. He wants you to be happy, so don't let his mistakes upset you. Try new things, see new people. Trust me, it works." She smiled, "Talk to you later."

"See ya."

She walked down to the break, where Sophia was sitting, looking over a forensics journal from two months ago.

"Good Evening," she said.

"Hi, seen Greg or Grissom around?" Sara poured herself a cup of steaming coffee.

"Actually, yes. Greg is going over more case stuff with Grissom. I think they're in Grissom's office."

"Thanks."

"No problem," Sophia said as Sara walked out back into the hallway.

She headed down to Grissom's office, partially afraid to face Grissom… to look at him even, but she needed to do her job, so she'd just have to go in there and get to work on the case.

Grissom looked up as she walked into the room and watched her walk in. The way she looked at him, or didn't look at him made him regret the choice he had made, but it was too late for him to change his mind. What ever chance he had with her was over; he knew that because he ended it the night before.

Greg turned around, "Hey Sar. Me and Grissom are just going over what we have so far. I've gotta go soon to the station where I'll be questioning Doctor Greys."

_When Greg leaves I'll have to be here and work on the case with Sara, alone. _He thought, _this is what I was afraid of; the awkwardness._

Greg left with Brass a little while later and Grissom and Sara were alone in his office.

"Please tell me you don't hate me," he said, making sure Greg had left the building and that nobody else was around.

"I doubt I could ever hate me, that's not to say I'm not angry with you, because I am, but no, I don't hate you."

"Good," he said, smiling, "Now let's get back to this case."

Thought I'd end it there…the next chapter is going to focus more on Greg and Sara…should be up as soon as I write it. D thanks for reviews!


	8. New York, New York

Disclaimer: I do not own CSI and make no profit from writing this.

A/N- Hey, sorry this update took so long. I really did mean to have this chapter up a while ago, but I wrote it and then didn't like that, so I erased it and started over. I've been a little busy lately, too, with schoolwork and all. Well, hope you like this chapter. As always, thanks for your reviews! D

She got back to her apartment and flopped on her bed, trying to figure out whether she was tired enough to sleep or if she was awake enough to watch tv or read a book. She yawned and positioned some pillows up against the wooden headboard to make herself more comfortable. After a while she decided to watch some tv.

She flicked through the channels "And in sports…" … "Stop by McDonald's for or limited time two for one deal…" … "We'll be right back to ET after this quick break…" Nothing seemed interesting, so she turned the tv off and headed over to her book shelf.

Her read through the rows, reading the titles. She looked through the rows of forensics journals she kept for reference and then moved on to the fiction crime novels. And then she came upon the book that Grissom got her for Christmas a year or two ago. She decided to read that one and so she took it off the shelf and sat back on her bed, knees up against her chest and the book in front of them.

Opening up the first page, she read and reread the note that Grissom wrote to her in it, "Sara, I thought you might like this. It reminds me of you. Merry Christmas. –Grissom."'

She thought about how she knew Grissom felt something for her, but she knew nothing would ever come from it. It was a useless thing to hope Grissom would wake up and take a chance. She knew that, even if she didn't want to. Maybe she'd just have to live in her memories, trying to think of all the things he ever said to her or did for her or gave to her. Would that be enough? Would that be enough for her to live with, memories, dreams that will never come true?

After a while the book slipped out of her hands and onto the bed. She closed her eyes and let herself drift off to sleep. Though even in her dreams she could not escape from anything.

_There she was, standing there alone in the hallway. She was at the lab. It was dark and deathly quiet. Confused, she started walking around. Every room she came to, she would check inside to see if anyone was there, but there was no one… that is, until she came to Grissom's office. She stood in the doorway, afraid of what might happen if she went inside, though after a while she walked in slowly. _

_Grissom just sat there, reading the newspaper and filling in the answers to the crossword puzzle. He didn't even look up until she called his name._

"_Grissom?" She asked._

_He looked up and stared at her, a frown upon his face, then he just got up and left. She followed him down the hallway, but whenever she got closer, he started to fade away until, eventually, he was finally gone. Sara stopped and slid down against the wall, wondering what to do._

In the distance she heard an annoying noise; her phone. She wasn't expecting anyone to call, so when it woke her up, she was a little suspicious.

"Hello?" she picked up the phone.

"Hey, it's Greg."

She yawned, "Hi Greg."

"Well, I was going to ask you if you'd want to hang out or do something, but I guess you're tired."

"Oh, no. I just woke up, fully rejuvenated and actually, doing something sounds a lot more fun than sitting here. What's up?"

"I talked to my mom earlier, kind of weird. I never thought she'd call; you could say I moved out here to get away from my family."

"Yeah, I know what you mean."

"Well, do you want to go somewhere or do something? I haven't been out of my apartment in a while, well not to do something that doesn't include work."

"Yeah, what'd you want to do?"

"Well, I know a pretty good place for food in New York, New York. I don't know, this is going to sound stupid, but I usually go there when I'm bored and there's nobody to talk to, you know, sit there, think, watch the tourists."

"Well, that's better than what I do…stay here, daydream, read, cry… What a very interesting life I have, huh? I'll meet you at your place, then?"

"Uh, sure, I guess. I'll talk to you soon, then?"

"Uhm-hmm."

She hung up the phone and smiled; she just realized that there was at least one person who could brighten her day. She pulled on a light sweater and grabbed her keys and handbag and then was on her way to Greg's apartment.

She knocked on the green door, as she opened it up, she said, "Hey, you ready to go?"

"Yeah," he locked the door and started down the hallway, walking next to Sara. "You sure you're not tired? You look like you could fall asleep at any second."

"I'm fine and well, actually, I probably couldn't even if I wanted to."

"Nightmares?" he asked curiously.

"Hard to believe, but yeah. I've got way too much on my mind, so thanks for asking me to hang out. It can help me get my mind off of stuff."

"No problem, I hope it helps me forget about everything, too."

Not much later, they arrive at New York, New York and after parking the car, the got out and walked around. Eventually, they got to place Greg was talking about.

"Do you want food, or do you just want to sit and talk or something?" he asked her.

"I guess I'll go get a soda or something, you want anything? I'll go get it; you can find an empty table."

"Uh, just a Pepsi is good, I guess. Thanks." He walked around and found a table off in a corner and took a seat before someone else did. A few moments later Sara spotted him and found her way over there.

"Hey, nice table." She smiled.

"Yeah, tried to get one away from all the people; so, how is everything?"

"If you're talking about Grissom, he's never going to change. He told me that the other day. He said he loves me, but he can never be with me; he's too afraid to hurt me or to get hurt by me. I can't do anything about it, I suppose its time I started to stop dreaming about what will never come true."

"Hey, cheer up. He's not the only guy out there. There are plenty of guys out there who would be dying to be with you, who would give anything for the chance to be there for you and say they love you. Don't let one guy ruin your outlook on love forever."

She looked at him and thought for a moment. Inside she was wondering if he was right, if she would ever love anyone else like she did Grissom. She was also wondering if he said those things because he felt that about her. It was a strange thought. She knew Greg had a crush on her, but that was a while ago, there was no way he could still have feelings for her. But what if he did? What would she say to him?

"I can dream, but I doubt there's a guy out there for me."

He looked at her and wondered what he was supposed to say. Inside he wanted to say, "I would give anything to be there for you and say I love you." But he knew Sara would never give him a chance; she was in love with Grissom. Grissom was much smarter than he was and much older than he was and at times, much more mature than he was. "I'm sure there is. I'm sure there's a guy out there right now, thinking about you and wishing you knew how he feels."

"It certainly isn't Grissom," she replied.

Sighing, he said, "Yeah, but the guy is out there, you'll figure it out."

The rest of the time they talked about many different things. Greg tried to cheer her up by doing impressions of different tourists that walked by them. It seemed to be working and by the time they decided to leave, she was smiling and laughing. They got in his car and headed back to the parking lot of his apartment complex.

Before Sara got in her car, she asked him, "You told me there was a guy out there that thinks about me and wishes I know how he feels… well, if I know who the guy is, and I think I do… I'm starting to feel something for him, too."

Greg stood there and said nothing, just watched as she got into her car and drove out of the parking lot. He wondered if she was actually saying that about _him_.

A/N Well, I'll end this chapter here. Next chapter should be up soon and it's probably going to be the last chapter as well. Once I'm finished this fic I might write a Grissom/Sara fic, but I', sure I'll be writing Greg/Sara in the future as well because its fun to write. Well, hope you enjoyed this chapter, please review! D ) D


	9. Emily Dickinson

Disclaimer: I do not own CSI and make no profit from this.

A/N Thanks for all the reviews; I always enjoy reading them! D

This is the last chapter for this story. A summary of my next fanfic will be at the end of this chapter.

Actually, he had the night off, but something made him get and up and drive to the lab. He parked the car and got out. As he started walking towards the building, he wondered what Ecklie would say if he saw him there on his night off. _Oh well_, he thought, _I can always say I left something in the locker room._ As he walked down the hallway, he spotted Grissom.

"Good evening, Greg. What exactly are you doing here?" he asked quizzically.

"I hate being home, so somehow I wandered over to the lab…"

"You work hard, Greg. Use your time off while you can. You never know, you might need some time off when we're backed up, but you won't be able to take it."

"I'd just sit at home and watch TV. What fun is that?"

"You could sleep."

"Or drink coffee…" Greg said as they walked past the break room, "Sorry, but my coffee is calling me." Little did Grissom know, Greg was also stopping by the break room to say hi to Sara who was busy reading over some notes.

"Hey," he said quietly, as to not startle her, "Thirsty? I'll let you have some of my coffee if you want."

"Sure, if it will help wake me up. I've been sitting here reading for hours."

He handed her the Styrofoam cup, "Here, it should help."

"Thanks. So, what have you been up to?"

"Not much. Tonight is my night off, but I've been so bored at my apartment and frankly, I've run out of interesting things to do. I've been to the parks, read all my books a few times over, watched TV; including really strange episodes of Dr. Phil…I even vacuumed my apartment this week."

"Wow, Greg vacuuming, now that's something I have to see." She said, rolling her eyes.

"You laugh, but at least my rugs are clean. Okay, that was pretty lame, but what have you been up to besides reading this?"

"Eh, not much; technically, shift just started so I have a whole lot more time to sit here and try get the evidence straight so we can get a conviction. Ecklie was just in here…seemed angry today and I mean more than just the regular angry Ecklie. He was reading over my shoulder and I heard him mutter something about Sophia. I have absolutely no idea what all that was about." She flipped over the paper and began reading the back side of it. She skimmed through and circled a paragraph and a few other bits and pieces of the paper before getting the next paper and briefly reading it.

"I really don't feel like doing work like this. I guess you know what its like; being cooped up inside all day. It's chilly in here, too. I think it's a bit early for them to already have the air conditioning on."

"Yeah, and you're a bit crazy for wearing a tank top. Do you want my sweatshirt? I'll probably be leaving anyway. Grissom suggested sleeping; that doesn't sound like a bad idea."

She shivered, "Sure, thanks." She threw the sweatshirt over her head and slipped her arms in the sleeves, "Now I might be able to stop shivering and be able to get more work done."

"You just read five pages while you were talking to me, I think you're working fast enough." He laughed.

"Yeah," her pager went off, "Hey, that's Mia with my results."

"You want me to go pick it up for you?"

"I'll come with you, get my blood circulating." She said, getting up and bringing along her cup of coffee.

They walked down the hallway and Sara spotted Catherine in her office, "Hey Greg, I'll meet you up there."

He shrugged his shoulders and continued down the hallway, Sara, however knocked on the door to Cath's office.

"Hey, Sara, I heard you've been here since my shift started," Catherine greeted her.

"I've been trying to wrap up this case, it won't take long now. I just have to piece together all the evidence and double check a thing or two. Anyway, how did the other night go?" Sara asked.

"It was great. Lindsey did a really good job and we met Warrick for ice-cream afterwards, so that was nice; Lindsey really enjoyed that. And did I hear correctly… you and Greg went on a date?"

"Whoa, what? Who did you hear that from? Well, I'm not saying it isn't true, but it wasn't really a date… We just sat talked over at New York, New York. I talked to him about Grissom and he was trying to cheer me up."

"I must take a mental note; Sara and Greg went on a date." She laughed, "Just joking. Sounds nice, but I can tell maybe you wish it was Grissom you went on a date with."

"Yes and no," she started, "I've wanted to date Grissom for a while, but last night, just hanging out and talking to Greg was really fun. Greg changed and maybe it's time I've given him a chance."

"Maybe letting Grissom go is what you needed; maybe it's better for the both of you. Plus, I heard from Nicky that you and Greg seemed happy when you were out last night. If Grissom and you weren't meant to be, it doesn't mean there isn't someone else out there for you." She smiled, "I have to go, good luck with Greg. I'll talk to you later."

"Yeah, see you, Cath." She smiled and followed her out of the office.

Realizing that she was supposed to get her results back from Mia, she hurried down the hallways and found Greg and Mia standing there.

"Look who finally decided to show up," Mia said and rolled her eyes, "Here's your results. Greg said he'd explain everything in order to save me from saying my little speech again."

"Thanks," she said, taking the paper from Greg. Both of them started off down the hallway again.

"Sara, I've been thinking," Greg said as they rounded another corner.

"Yeah, me, too."

"Last night, who were you talking about?"

"Well, I was talking about…" Grissom was coming towards them and interrupted her.

"Greg, you're still here? Anyway, I took the liberty of reading through the notes and am pretty sure we can wrap this up soon. I just needed one more thing to compare something, which I believe you have the results in your hand…"

"Oh, yeah, just got this from Mia." She handed him the paper.

"If you don't mind I want to check this over with something in my office. If you want to join me, you can."

"I think I'm going to go grab another cup of coffee and stretch my legs; I've been going through everything for hours."

"You've been doing a great job on this case, Sara. And you, too, Greg, both of you."

Once Grissom was down the hall and they were back in the break room, Sara continued what she was saying before, "I was talking about…well, you." She turned away, too shy to look at him.

He smiled at her, "I was thinking maybe we could do something like last night again some time…?"

"Yeah, that would be really nice." She smiled.

He smiled in return, and then said, "I'd better go. I can tell you've got a lot more work to do." He hugged her and then headed out to his car.

As he walked into the hallway, he noticed that Grissom was standing there; he'd been watching them through the window. Greg nodded, not really knowing what to say, and then quickly left…leaving Grissom, standing there, still watching Sara. He watched her sit there, smiling.

_I wish I could have been the one to make you smile like that, He_ thought, _but at least you're smiling now. _

"If I can stop one heart from breaking, I shall not live in vain." He thought of the quote by Emily Dickinson.

_As long as you're happy, He_ thought, _that's all that matters to me._

**A/N **

**Well, that is the end of this story. I hope you enjoyed it. Thanks for all the reviews and for reading this! D**

**Here's a short summary of the fic I'm working on now**

**Title: In the Midst of it All**

**Grissom/Sara**

**It takes place in the summer, but after the team split, so Greg will be out in the field and Sofia will be in there as well. **

**I'm not going to give a hole lot of details here, mainly because I just come up with the story as I go, but I don't want to give too much away. It's not really fun to read a fic if you know a character is going to get hurt or something like that. At least, it isn't for me. So, basically, I'll say that something is going to happen to Sara, which will end up with Grissom realizing he made some mistakes over the past five years since Sara came to Las Vegas. See, pretty vague there. I'll leave it at that. D I hope you'll read. The first chapter or so just give a little bit of information. The plot will develop more so in chapters 3+.**


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